Blog #9 is about the draft #1 narrative project about how revised it, how we felt about taking that story and changing the decision, tense, and point of view. Plus how we would revise it and which one we want to turn in as our final product. To help us get a better understanding of revising and rewriting we read What is Fan Fiction -- and why is it making people nervous? (Stephen Downes) and listened to the podcast called Rewinding and Rewriting: The Alternate Universes in Our Head (Hidden Brain Podcast) and read my first draft paper called "Her Decision ( Draft # 1)".
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In this blog I will be writing about a scene from my past which means I rewrite a part of my life that happened a long time ago just so you know which is gonna be hard not because I don't know how to write it but because there are so many things that have happened to me good like being accepted into Delaware County Community College ( DCCC ) to the bad like my parents divorcing and moving on with other people but Imma keep it positive for this blog. In this blog I will be telling about when I use to live in Lubbock Texas and how I started dancing at 15 Here is a podcast I listened to help me better understand how to write a story from my past What You Don't Know (Lulu Wang) Should I dance or should I go? There are lots of things I wanted to do in life like graduate high school, go sky diving, swim with sharks (yes I am that type of person) and maybe write my own fiction novels like Stephine Meyer, Richelle Mead, and Stephine Perkins but the one thing I never saw myself doing is dancing!!!!! Like no not in like a million years I cant dance I look stupid even trying to dance. So why on gods green earth would I dance? or even try to dance? or take a dance class? But somehow I let my best friend Caylie convince me otherwise. " I am so excited to be starting this class arn't you? " Caylie says all happy go lucky I looked at her annoyed " No not really, explain to me again why I let you talk me into doing this stupid class?" " Because its better than dealing with tennis couches" Caylie says cheerfully" " ok yes I get that, But what I don't get is why you dragged me into this?" I say whining She stops dead in her tracks and a huge smile spreads across her face " There it is the dance room " she says with so much excitement I make an face and say " Ya I can really smell the dance which smells a lot like the football players after practice, sweat masked with two cans of Axe body spray" She looks at me now annoyed and says " Can you at least try to sound excited this is a new thing for both us who knows it might be good for us?" "Or it can be really bad and I could get seriously injured then I cant walk correctly for months then my parents will sue the school for me getting hurt then it will go live then they shut the dance class down all because you forced me into doing this" I say as serious and concerned as possible She looks at me and starts laughing " your so dramatic and have such an imagination" She opens the door and we walk in , and of course it smells like gym class but with mirrors on three of the four walls with railings across the mirrors that took up the whole wall " Well at least I always a mirror to fix my hair and make up in " I say sarcastically She looks at me and says " Really? your hair and face are not the most thing in the world" I ignore her comment and look around the room seeing girls are coming out of the changing room, others are stretching on the cold, but very dirty marble floor and other stretch using the bar. I see one girl bring her leg up to her head while standing up I nudge caylie in the arm and say " Did you see that she brought her leg to her head, umm ya I'm really in the wrong class" She rolled her eyes at me and said " Oh come on she has probably been dancing for years so that's how she can do that" " Well it seems painful just looking at it" I say to her concerned " Can you just relax and see what the class is like before you judge it, who knows you might love it and wanna do it for the rest of high school" she says annoyed again " Or I'll hate it, and hate you for it " I say jokingly The teacher comes over and tells us to go get dressed because class is starting soon. We go and change and by the time we come out the class is already stretching. We join the stretching and by the time that was over my body was sore and we hadn't even started dancing yet. The teacher starts teaching the dance and as I danced and practiced it over and over every day I fell in love with it I danced all through out high school and once I moved to Austin and started my new school I joined my school's dance team and I performed multiple times at our dance shows that we had three times a year plus during half time at the homecoming football game every year. I was happy I finally found something I was good at and that made me feel like I could do anything. I don't dance anymore but I do dance just to enjoy the music and relive my dance days. Dancing made me a whole new person and showed me not to be afraid to show people what I could do. This blog is about a dialogue scene I read this story Hills Like White Elephants (Ernest Hemingway) to help me better understand how to write this type of scene with dialogue and symbols with hidden meaning within the story that gives you a better understanding of what that story really is about I hope you enjoy reading and in the comments below tell me what you liked what you didnt and what I could change Her Decision She was scared, she was nervous, but she was mostly fearful, she was shivering like it was 20 degrees even through it was only 70 degrees in her room, she was siting in her bed wrapped up in her blanket shaking with fear she couldn't think straight her mind wondering all over place she couldn't even put two and two together. Her sister was sitting on the other bed across from her yelling at her with venom in her mouth
" You have tell him" her sister said " I know I do but I cant do it" she replied back shuddering " Well you have till Saturday to tell him otherwise mom will tell him" her sister snapped back If only she knew how hard this choice was for her to make, if only she knew how many times she ran this through her head how she thought about all the options she had to choose from and how everyone of them was hard to pick except for the one she knew was right for her. Her breathe started to come back to normal as she thought about her choice and how over time that one thought made her nervous but now made her believe this was what God wanted for her, she believed there was a reason why he would do this sort of thing to her. once her sister brought up their father again she starting getting knots in her stomach and her breathe went uneasy again " How could you be so stupid " said her sister " This is a mistake you need to take back" With that being said anger started to grow inside of her and made all the blood in her veins boil she angrily replied" Why so everyone else can be happy and I have to live with regret of a choice I was force to make??" Her younger sister spoke with that venom again and said "This isn't about who it makes happy but what's best for everyone, Like it or not you need to tell dad he has every right to know" As she listened to her sister go on and on she thought about all the times she tried to talk to her dad about anything. Her dad wasn't the easiest person to talk to like her mom was he had a bad habit of speaking before thinking and this was why she was never so good with telling her father things big or small because there would always end up being an hour long lecture on whatever the subject was good or bad "Hello are you even listening to me or you just gonna stare into space" says her sister annoyed " I said you need to tell dad what's going on and hope he doesn't kill you or disown you" she says with a smirk She looks at her sister with annoyious but also a little concerned she looks down at her hands and realizes the whole time they have been talking she has been scratching which meant her anxiety was acting up which meant she was freaking out big time " Fine " she says " Fine Ill talk to him and tell him whats going on" Her sister smiles " Good do it " THE NEXT DAY In this blog you will be reading about a scene from my everyday life. What is a sense you may ask? well a scene is a moment in which you describe in detail and in action what is taking place in that specific moment to really make you as the reader vision the place as if you were actually there when the scene was taking place like you were in my shoes during this time so I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think the comments below Here are the links to a scene with very descriptive details in every scene to give you a better idea of what a good scene looks and sounds like and that also help me write my own scene
So Not A Morning Person
I'm laying in bed trying to sleep I'm tossing and turning and rolling in my sheets trying to find just that right spot to sleep. The sun is shining bright through the blinds lighting up my room like a Christmas tree I'm starting to feel a little annoyed not because of the light but because of the noise. The noise I hear coming from outside my room, the music blasting, loud laughing and talking. I open my eyes slowing with anonymous while the sun blinds me. I look at the clock it reads 12:30 pm. I sit up annoyed looking around my room then I lay my eyes on my sister's messy side of the room but still annoyed with the noise that is going on which seems to get louder. I look at her side with her mess, shoes all over the floor, clothes half in the basket and the rest on the floor. I shake my head and say " I live with a slob" then think back to the many times I have told my sister to clean up her side of the room. Of course he ignores me and the thought starts to annoys me even more. As the noise continue to gets louder I think to myself " I am a night creature cursed with a family of morning people" the thought cringes in my mind. I throw my sheets off me and roll to the side of the bed with my feet dangling off the side. I grunt in pain because my back is killing me from working 12 hours before now. I stand up and slowly walk to the door, I open the door and walk through the short white hall with plain walls that lead to the kitchen. The kitchen is small with white walls as well but with all red appliances. I smell bacon coming from the oven and I see my mom making sausages with cheesy eggs which makes my mouth water and my stomach burn with hunger. I walk out of the kitchen and into the living room. The living room is large with 3 white walls and one burgundy red wall where our flat screen TV is sitting on the wall. The TV is blaring with cringy music that my ears are bleeding to. Once I've entered the living room I see blankets and pillows all over the floor and my sister it laying upside down on the couch with her headphones in her ears and her phone in her face, and her feet on the wall talking on the phone like she has no care in the world for ruining the white wall with her dirty feet. I'm standing there shivering like I'm standing a restaurant freezer. I grab my Steelers blanket from off the floor and quickly wrap it around me and turn myself into a cold burrito I decide to not wanna be where so I run back to my room but just as I get warmed up in my bed my mom calls me for breakfast then I knew it was all over. |
Angelina Boyle <3I'm a student and I'm working on getting my psychology degree to become a psychologist Archives
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